"That's your argument?"

We should not have to know any of these names. It’s baseball season, I should be spending time focused on some random Guardians prospect who jumped from AA and can’t make an out, wondering if the Orioles are wasting their young talent by not going all in, and booing Aroldis Chapman. I wish James Boasberg was like, a shortstop for the Mariners or something, not a judge trying to keep the fabric of society from ripping clean apart.

Here are some good songs before we get into The Latest Bullshit.

There’s something melancholy and haunting about all three songs. I didn’t pick them for that reason, but it fits with the current mood. The Keni Titus song is from a few years ago but I just discovered it and can’t get it out of my head. The Emily Hines song is brand new and I can’t wait to hear more from her. I saw Weakened Friends cover “Torn” (Natalie Imbruglia) last month at Something in the Way Fest and it rocked. I’m so glad they recorded and released it. They took a great classic song and added their style to it. So good.

Tuesday night, twice within about two hours, my beautiful wife caught me grinning like a fool while staring at my phone. Both times, I was watching Pikachu-related content. One was the intro to the first game of the MLB season, and the other was a stranger’s wedding photos. I am who I am.

Lately, I feel like a video game character whose whimsy bar is always slowly depleting, like when you’re in an underwater level and you need to surface before it runs out. It doesn’t refill as much as it used to. But the good things are still good — friendship and baseball and art and nostalgia and Jeopardy! and Pokémon and ending long days on the couch under my favorite blanket with my wife and the excitement of becoming a dad — and they help refill my heart containers.

Donald and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week in Court

It’s a crime spree.

That’s what is happening.

Elon Musk and Donald Trump are killing people.

Is it good when the President gets told by multiple courts that he’s broken the law?

Has an American President ever had a week like this in court before? Asking honestly. I don’t know. I’m not a historian or a lawyer. It’s hard to imagine something worse. But then again no President has ever been so completely lawless, no President has ever tried the “any judge who rules against me is corrupt and should be impeached” argument before. Unfortunately, he is a man who never backs down from anything, no matter how stupid or illegal, so it probably won’t matter, but judges across the country have had enough of his shit. These people all need to be in jail.

Judge 1: Roberts

John “the living embodiment of the hot dog costume guy“ Roberts, who you may know from “lol idk go ahead and be a king, Mr. Trump” had to rebuke Trump for his comments about District Judge James Boasberg. In a statement, Roberts said:

Shorter Roberts: no, you fucking clown, that’s not how any of this works!

Judge 2: Boasberg

Boasberg is a target of Trump because the judge ordered flights deporting alleged (important word!) Venezuelan gang members to turn around. DOJ has been arguing in front of Boasberg about the flights for a few days now, and he has had enough. DOJ came unprepared to answer repeated questions like when the planes took off, who was on board, and whether they were being deported under the Alien Enemies Act.

DOJ tried to get their hearing canceled, claiming there had been no violation of the court order. Boasberg shot that nonsense down.

The ACLU argues it's illegal to use the Alien Enemies Act during peacetime for regular immigration enforcement, and that only Congress can authorize its use by declaring a state of war. The last time it was used was during WWII, when it was used to detain 31,000 people of Japanese, Italian, and German ancestry. A stain on our history.

Their weasely argument here is that the federal courts and judges authority doesn’t exist on planes that have left American airspace. They also refused to answer questions based on national security, which is real convenient and also most likely bullshit. I’m not a lawyer but when a judge asks “that’s your first argument?” uhh that’s not great. The whole thing is instructive:

Shorter Boasberg: no, you fucking clowns, that isn’t how any of this works!

It’s important to be crystal clear about what they’re doing to these people. There is no due process. They are not being deported, they are being trafficked; they are being brought to a country they’re not from, have likely never been to, and will be doing slave labor upon arrival. Let’s also be clear that they aren’t doing this based on evidence. They know that if they had to actually assess their guilt, they’d come up empty and be forced to admit such a finding.

The hoop they want the judge to jump through here is hey well the only reason they don’t have criminal records is “…because they have only been in the United States for a short period of time.” If you can somehow get through that, the next hoop is even more stupid and baseless: "The lack of a criminal record does not indicate they pose a limited threat. The lack of specific information about each individual actually highlights the risk they pose.” So the government’s position is look, we know they will commit a crime, they just haven’t gotten around to criming yet, and the fact that we haven’t been able to find anything to charge them with only makes them more dangerous.

Judges 3 & 4: Chuang & Chutkan

If you’re on Bluesky, perhaps you’re familiar with WITAOD, or Who Is The Adminstrator Of DOGE? (Or you don’t know what that is and you’re normal. Congrats!) Obviously Elon Musk is in charge. For legal reasons, they have tried to claim Musk has no formal role in DOGE and that Amy Gleason is actually in charge, though when they made that announcement she was on vacation in Mexico. I wonder what they gave her to be the scapegoat. Turns out she was also appointed “expert/consultant” at HHS on March 4, while already service as acting DOGE administrator. It seems pretty darn unlikely that she holds two concurrent government positions! US District Judge Theodore Chuang is onto their games. He ruled on Tuesday that Elon and DOGE have likely exercised unconstitutional authority “in multiple ways” during their dismantling of the government. He has for now delayed “a premature, final shutdown” of USAID.

His argument is simple: the shutdown harmed public interest and also deprived Congress of using its authority, as the public’s elected reps, to decide what to do with the agency that is created. Musk and DOGE are barred from taking other actions relating to USAID “without the express authorization of a USAID official.” Will they stop? Who knows. Musk’s unprecedented crime spree is in violation of the Appointments Clause.

The idea that Musk has no authority over DOGE is clearly false, so it’s nice to see someone in power actually call them on it. More Chuang: “At this preliminary stage, the record demonstrates that, at least during the time period relevant to this Motion, Musk was, at a minimum, likely the official performing the duties and functions of the ASDS Administrator.” He also ends with this hammer: “Violations of this Preliminary Injunction shall subject Defendants and all other persons bound by this Order to applicable penalties, including contempt of court.” Musk is surely going to ignore this, just as Trump has done, and then we will see if anyone in this country is actually going to enforce the laws.

Late Wednesday, Gleason filed a sworn declaration that DOGE has 89 employees and no “formal front office or organizational chart.” This is such an insane and blatant cover for Musk, who clearly runs it. They are a fake entity, not a government agency, and they’re deleting and pillaging the government, using this nonsense to shield them from legal liability. It would be a staggeringly stupid way to run an actual business, even if it was legit. They keep claiming transparency, but there is none. It’s a ruse.

It’s not even the only Appointments Clause case against Musk. Another, in front of Judge Chutkan, has signaled strong support for the plantiffs’ theory of the case: “Musk has not been nominated by the President nor confirmed by the U.S. Senate, as constitutionally required…accepting Plaintiffs’ allegations as true, Defendants’ actions are thus precisely the “Executive abuses” that the Appointments Clause seeks to prevent.”

Judge 5: Reyes

US District Judge Ana Reyes has ruled that Trump’s order to exclude transgender troops from military service likely violates their constitutional rights.

“The cruel irony is that thousands of transgender servicemembers have sacrificed—some risking their lives—to ensure for others the very equal protection rights the military ban seeks to deny them,” Reyes wrote.

This was my favorite part:

Probably not good when the judge drops a “crickets on this key question” on your ass. Also hell yeah to the phrase “transgender persons can have the warrior ethos.” Goddamn they got me sticking up for the military.

Judge 6: Howell

Another loss for the big orange loser came last week when US District Judge Beryl Howell issued a temporary restraining order blocking enforcement of his executive order against Perkins Coie, a law firm he’s big mad about for personal reasons. Most of the time he forgets everything except the last thing he heard, but his vengeance runs deep. He’s been mad at Perkins Coie since 2016, when their lawyers, working for the Clinton campaign, hired Fusion GPS, which resulted in the infamous Steele dossier, alleging collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. The EO claims to go after them for national security blah blah blah and etc, ‘the entire first paragraph is dedicated to Clinton, the dossier and MAGA bogeyman George Soros.” They’re not even trying to hide it. Remember: when anyone goes after him for crimes he absolutely committed, that’s weaponizing the government, boohoo, unfair! When he literally does it, that’s fine he’s the president he can do whatever he wants. The chilling effect, which is also part of the point, is very much not good. Howell said the order is clearly intended to punish the firm, and likely violates its First, Fifth, and Sixth amendment rights. Hat trick!

Judge 4: Chutkan (reprise)

She’s back! US District Judge Tanya Chutkan on Tuesday temporarily blocked the EPA’s attempt to recoup $20 billion in Biden-era climate grants. The groups still can’t draw from those funds, however, at least not yet. Chutkan wrote that the EPA “gave no legal justification for the termination” of the contracts, saying the administration had only “vaguely” outlined its allegations that the program was waste or had potential conflicts.

Shorter Chutkan: no, you fucking clown, that’s not how any of this works!

“The awards — $7 billion for Climate United, $5 billion for CGC and $2 billion for Power Forward Communities — are designed to spur private sector investment in energy efficient housing, clean energy and electric vehicle charging infrastructure projects, particularly in communities that struggle to attract private sector dollars.”

There’s a pattern here. They’re lying. They’re pushing boundaries. They’re trying to do as much damage as fast as they can. But through all of it, I don’t feel confident the courts will hold them down. All of this losing, and for what? We’ll see, but a law that isn’t being going to be enforced is… nothing.

One last note on judges. Don’t let anyone tell you these judges are some wild lefties. Judges across ideological lines are ruling against Trump at strikingly similar rates: 84% liberal, 86% centrist, 82% conservative.

Six travel updates: seriously, do not come here

An update on Jasmine Mooney, who I wrote about last week. She wrote about her ICE detainment in The Guardian. I recommend reading the whole thing, but this really gets right to the issue. She asked an officer how long she would be there. His response: “I don’t know your case. Could be days. Could be weeks. But I’m telling you right now – you need to mentally prepare yourself for months.”

The UK has issued a travel warning for the US. Their website used to read simply "The authorities in the U.S. set and enforce entry rules." They added a sentence before that ("You should comply with all entry, visa and other conditions of entry.”) and a sentence after that: You may be liable to arrest or detention if you break the rules."

Germany has issued a warning for transgender and nonbinary people traveling to the US.

A French scientist was denied entry traveling to the US for a conference earlier this month after immigration officers at an airport searched his phone and found messages in which he had expressed criticism of the Trump administration.

Alvin Gibbs of UK Subs posted on Facebook about being denied entry to the US. One member of the band was allowed to enter, for reasons unknown.

International travelers are canceling trips to the US, depriving the tourism industry of billions of dollars. Can’t blame them. Another glaring example of Trump hurting the people of this country. He either doesn’t care or is thrilled by it. Either way, ghoulish.

More bad stuff

I highly recommend reading every word of Mahmoud Khalil’s letter from ICE detention in Louisiana.

DOGE is planning to shut down phone support for Social Security. This will kill old people. They know this will kill old people. It’s already hard to call and get assistance. These people will never get the help they need. This will burden millions and help no one. Reminder: Social Security and Medicare are already way more efficient than their counterparts in the private sector.

Speaking of DOGE, one of Musk’s top lieutenants, Steve Davis, was so obsessed with cost-cutting that he removed key parts from SpaceX's Falcon 1 rocket, directly causing its failure on its second ever test flight. He’s done with rocket tests. Now he’s making decisions that will cause pain and suffering to real human beings.

The idea of a free Palestine really breaks people’s brains. A Miami arthouse theater planned to show No Other Land, which just won Best Documentary at the Oscars. The film is about a Palestinian village struggling to survive in the West Bank amid the violence from the government. O Cinema’s patrons specifically asked for it. Before and after the big win, the film is without a US distributor, which tells you what a controversial piece of art it is. The only way for it to be seen is these deals between the filmmakers and independent theatres like O. Miami Beach Mayor Steven Meiner sent them a letter demanding they cancel the screenings, and threatening to evict them if they didn’t comply. They screened the film anyway. They sold out every showing. Just today, the Mayor withdrew his eviction proposal, but maintained the documentary is a “public safety threat.” Mr. Mayor didn’t just say “stop the screening,” he went right to threatening to shut them down. Gross overreaction.

Badar Khan Suri is an Indian citizen in the US legally on a student visa. He is a Georgetown post-doc fellow. He was detained for sharing pro-Palestinian views on social media under the same provision as Mahmoud Khalil. His wife is a Palestinian US citizen. He’s already been moved to Louisiana.

Chuck around and find out. Schumer is useless. He’s gotta go. The Democrats need real leadership. He’s more of a sunken ship. He went on Chris Hayes’ show and said we’re not quite yet in a constitutional crisis. Yeah man, only 75% of the house is on fire, good call to wait until the thing is nothing but a pile of ash before doing something. Retire.

They tried to erase Jackie Robinson. The Department of Defense labeled a webpage about him as DEI and deleted it on Tuesday. This story combines two of my loves, baseball and getting pissed off at idiots. Robinson famously integrated baseball in 1947, but he also fought the Nazis. The story of Black baseball players is a huge part of American history. This is shameful and just proves that every Black person is nothing but three letters to them. Sometime yesterday, the page on the DoD site was restored after outcry from Jeff Passan and Craig Calcaterra, among others. Both responses (one, two) from the Pentagon spokesperson to Passan/ESPN are really something. These people really are just the worst of the worst.

Scientists have just cured pancreatic cancer in some patients with personalized mRNA vaccines. Curing cancer should be the crown jewel of science. This is incredible. Trump wants to throw it all away. Supporting him says “fuck cancer…wait, sorry, missed a few words. Fuck people with cancer.”

Remember when they were like “omg Joe Biden has a Peloton, what if it gets hacked” etc? Well now Musk decided the White House should get his Starlink service to “improve wi-fi” but Secret Service didn’t know about this, and it led to a confrontation over conflicts of interest and cyber and physical security.

A bill in Arkansas seeks to ban gender affirming haircuts for transgender youth. Haircuts. If that said North Korea instead of Arkansas, you’d think ‘sure, sounds about right.’ But no, that’s where we’re at now here.

In Milwaukee, ICE grabbed a three-year old, his mother, and his grandmother because they were speaking Spanish while shopping, which is famously not a crime. They are US citizens from Puerto Rico. They had birth certificates on them so they were released, having to pay for their own ride home.

Police are investigating a report of fake ICE agents targeting a Ukranian grocery store. An SUV with an ICE decal was seen, though they left as soon as security showed up. This is as cruel as it is inevitable.

The US had a contract with the Yale University School of Public Health’s Humanitarian Research Lab to identify and locate Ukranian children taken by Russia. It had located thousands of these kids, identified 314 of them, and presented evidence of these war crimes to the UN Security Council. The contract was frozen in January, and now has been terminated by the State Department. To make a very bad situation even darker, the data may have been deleted. Evidence of Russian war crimes, gone.

There’s a massive Agent Orange site in Vietnam. USAID was funding the cleanup. That has now stopped. The rainy season is about to begin, and the runoff could poison hundreds of thousands. Key quote from the article: “Halting a project like that in the middle of the work, that’s an environmental crime. If you stop in the middle, it’s worse than if you never started.”

In an email to The Post, his father, Errol, said Musk and his younger brother were “…not into political nonsense, and we lived in a very well-run, law-abiding country with virtually no crime at all. Actually no crime. We had several black servants who were their friends.” Errol added that Musk and his brother also had several Black friends. This reminds me of a scene from Character Limit, soon after Musk took over Twitter. A Black employee points out that racial comments have increased on the platform and it’s a serious problem. Musk points out that he knows Diddy, and that Diddy is an investor, so he just brushes off the problem and moves on. I guess “but I have a Black friend!” is a card he plays often.

Only 14% of Trump’s own voters are on board with his incoherent ramblings about annexing Canada. Only 8% of Americans think the US should do it. It’s just absolute nonsense. No one wants it, but because a sunsetting senile grandpa is in charge we have to deal with this.

An immigration firm sent a newsletter to clients yesterday, in which they “strongly recommend against international travel,” warned against even walking past political rallies, and noted that government reps may ask to see emails, texts, or social media. They also recommend “mak[ing] arrangements with friends and family to be in touch on a daily basis, so that if something happens, people on the outside can take actions to protect you. It is crucial someone knows where you are, and that action is taken if you are taken into custody.” Yeah, that’s where we’re at.

Something insane that felt like it went under the radar: Steak n Shake went full Nazi online, complete with graphics and a raging boner for RFK and Musk. A few days later, RFK filmed a Hannity interview inside one of their locations.

Marisa Kabas has been doing amazing work at The Handbasket. I subscribed, you should too. Her latest story is about the travesty happening at the US Institute of Peace. DOGE + guns + police = bad.

Before the IRS fired almost 7,000 probationary employees, they were warned by a senior lawyer that these terminations contained “false” information and amounted to “fraud” on the US judicial system.

A 2024 GAO report found the IRS netted savings of $13,000 for every additional hour spent auditing wealthy individuals’ tax returns. DOGE’s cuts to the IRS will cost more than DOGE could ever save, and their cuts obviously benefit the wealthy, who will get away with even more tax cheats.

Teen Vogue spoke to Vivian Wilson about her “pathetic man-child” estranged father, Elon Musk, who must have seen this today and has since been posting debunked nonsense about “trans violence” on Twitter.

Stuff that makes me think we are so cooked: ICE arrested this guy’s wife and he says he doesn’t regret his Trump vote. Anti-vaxxers see a 6-year olds death as proof of their debunked theories, rather than the danger of this deadly disease. This girl was the first child in the US to die from measles in two decades. Zero people have died from the vaccine.

Not great to see an assault case against Enrique Tarrio be dropped in DC.

Another analysis of Trump’s tax plan shows money flowing from low-income people to the top 0.1%. All this bullshit so people who are already so rich they won’t even notice when they get a little more. But at least they can use the R word and punish college kids!

Tesla has recalled Cybertrucks. Yes, all of them. LOL. A pesky exterior panel keeps falling over while they’re driving. “Why would the Democrats do this to me?” Musk is probably shouting. Meanwhile, three college kids burned to death inside one of the ugly deathtraps because the doors wouldn’t open. Horrible. The company’s stock price continues to fall. The protests are working. I hope the line keeps going down down down.

Some lady wrote in USA Today about how people like her voted for Trump and they’re not weird. She said she’s just like some of the characters on The White Lotus. Well everyone on that show fucking sucks. You should not want to say you’re like any of them. If you are like them, you also fucking suck.